I spent my entire childhood looking for, trying to find out who I am. I always believed that the answer was, “Somewhere out there.” That if only I could search hard enough, dig hard enough, the answers would be all waiting for me somewhere, as if I just needed to read the right book or pay the right coach who would tell me who I am.
Then I hit adulthood and learnt that, “Ohhh… The answers are not ‘out there’ somewhere… They are ‘in here’ somewhere’.” Didn’t help me any. All that happened was that I did the same things all over again, except this time the shovel was aimed at myself.
I got so angry over the years. I felt I was working so hard, doing all the right things. So why weren’t the answers coming to me? “Why won’t someone just tell me who I am, so that I can get on with the being?!”